You Still Have All Of Me
by BlackOpal
Summary: Borderline R A TomGinny piece in which Ginny focuses on what really happened down in the chamber and how it affected her later.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters because JK Rowling owns them, and if you don't believe me then you can as the characters. Go on! Also, the song- "My Immortal"- belongs to Evanescence. I promise.

A/N: This is a dark, dark piece. I'm just warning you. Implications of sexual intercourse. If you don't like what it sounds, please don't read it. I don't want to you know, scar you for life or anything. Also, the husband is not given a name; you can draw your own conclusions as to who he is. This story isn't about the husband and Ginny, it's about Tom and Ginny.

A breeze from the open window fluttered her hair away from eyes blinking back tears. The curls settled on her porcelain face. Suddenly, Ginny became aware of everything. There was an arm snaked around her waist with lips delicately placed on her shoulder. She could feel hot breath on her skin. She moaned and sat up, wanting to be rid of the limb around her. Pressing her face into her hands, she let her cold fingers cool her rather warm visage.

"What's wrong?" The man from beside her brushed his arm away and sat up to comfort his wife.

"I had a dream," she muttered and threw back the comforters that were choking sweat from her skin.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I need air." Her toes hit the floor and cringed from the cold floorboards of the bedroom. She threw her robe over her naked body and slid the door to the porch open. The air rushed to greet her. She let the wind soothe her until the man from the bed groaned something about it freezing outside. 

She stepped onto the patio and leaned onto the ledge overlooking the London city. Lights were out around the streets yet selected few stayed on. They were the ones that housed the creatures of the night. They were the ones that forever stayed on even though the rest of the city had gone to sleep.

She wished she could never sleep. The dreams haunted her so frequently now. They stifled her in a heat of the past that could never leave her.

Tom.

It had been ages and ages since she ventured into the chamber. She could still remember the smell- a musty scent of snakes and mildew. She could hear the dripping that she never found the source of. She could feel the eyes piercing hers and leading her down the dark hallways of the chamber- all with the promise that the owner of the eyes would make everything all right.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

His hands were still on her wait, chilling her to the bone as he pulled her closer to him. His lips still asphyxiated hers' as he sucked the life he needed out of her. He had fed her lies that ran so deep, they mixed with her blood. Without knowing it, she had allowed herself to become addicted to what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named once was.

Tom was a very hard person to decipher. He had told her so many whispered things. Later she was told they were all lies and should be forgotten. She couldn't. She was brainwashed- Ginny knew this. But Tom was what she wanted and the only way to keep him was to hang onto the words he spoon fed her. 

She looked down at her arms. There were scars up her arms… all around her body. They never healed. She remembered when he made them on her. He had held her eyes so she didn't notice the blood. Later he had sucked the life from it but right then, it didn't matter if he had stripped her clean of all that restricted her in her small body and she would've followed him to death. She remembered when he mixed their blood together. Her lips had been fervent to taste the mingled substance. She had been eager to have him live in her. He had smiled and called her a good girl, that's all she wanted to be- a good girl.

She hated the scars now. They were a reminder of what had happened. They haunted her when she was in the shower. She scrubbed them so hard they would open and bleed. She would scream and scream until her husband came in to soothe her. Every day the scars were there and ever day they were a constant reminder of her binding to the dark lord.

_These wounds won't seem to heal._

_This pain is just too real._

_There's just too much that time cannot erase._

She remembered when she finally cracked under his waiting body. He forced herself upon her and entered her small frame. Grinning at the fact that she was finally stripped of what she clung to- her innocence. Now that it was gone, she wanted it back. 

She could recall calling out and begging, the screaming and crying. Everything that would help, she would do. It had been useless. Anytime she struggled he would gain strength and grin above her in a knowing way. Then he would mutter his words again and make her weak. She would invite him in and his kisses grew harder and harder until she couldn't help but surrender to his power. 

She became his nurse for a while. When he was too weak, she would soothe him in the only way she knew how as a child. She would stroke his hair and let him cry into his breast. It mattered not to him, those days he was so distorted he forgot who and what he was. All he knew what that he was being comforted and this was one of the things that kept him quiet.

It was those moments that he was a babe. She had fantasies of nursing him to better health and they would be lovers. They could have a picket fence and a dog in a yard and three boys- a little girl if she was lucky. 

And then there were those days when he would once again force himself onto her. He would strangle her with his kisses and envelop her with his words of betrayal, hate, anger but most of all… darkness. She spiraled far beyond anyone's control and the only one that could pull her out was Tom himself. Tom had no intentions on doing so.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

"It's been eleven years, Ginny." Her husband had told her on one of those nights she was faced with remembering. "Let it go."

He didn't understand she was trying. He didn't know what whirled around her head when he wasn't trying to get inside it. Tom was all she was. Tom was all she would ever be. He was within her and every breath she took fueled Tom's desire to control her. 

She shuddered and coughed in an attempt to rid herself of the blood inside her. She choked because she knew that no blood would release itself. Tom was forever in her. 

They told her she remembered nothing. She was all too happy to accept that. She didn't want to remember anything of that chamber or those eyes baring upon her. And she didn't want to feel him inside her anymore. He was flowing inside of her and she hated it. 

Once she had gone to a healer. None had been able to cure her of this. It was too dark and too strong a magic. Ginny let the panic around her fall apart, telling the ones she loved that he had released her but knowing full well he would never do that.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating life_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

She released a scream to fall on the creatures of the night's ears. She so wanted them to hear their pain and realize that they were so lucky not to have a burden. Tears fell onto the steel railing yet she willed herself to heal. Walking back into the apartment she threw the robe onto a chair and climbed into bed besides her husband. His arm snaked around her again and drew her close. She didn't object. He felt a need to comfort her and that was more than welcome. She needed someone to love her at that moment.

His lips once again fell on her shoulder and his breath buried itself in her skin. He was beside her and she felt nothing. She was cold and empty. She was longing for someone that was inside her and trying to come out. It mattered not. 

Sleep never came for Ginny Wealsey. Memories of the past haunted her like ghosts. She let them flood over her, demanding they take her away from the husband's arm, lips and breath. She wanted to return to Tom, to return to her only love. She opened herself to him. He never came. She cursed and slid deeper into the covers. Tears sparkled as she closed her eyes and attempted to forget the past but knowing very well she could never do such a thing.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_


End file.
